ShoutyBear: Politics. Foreign Affairs. Zarf.

Zarf, aka Zoe, aka Jeffrey Carlson, is appearing in “Antony and Cleopatra” from March 22 to to May 2 at The Duke on West 42nd Street. Tickets are available now. I am so making this trip.

For those of you who don’t know, Zarf is the greatest contribution to daytime soaps since Luke convinced Laura to forget that whole rape thing and marry him. Zarf sang! Zarf was aware of Mike Patton from Faith No More! And most importantly, Zarf emoted!

For god knows what reason, “All My Children” decided to let Zarf go last year after they stupidly paired the fantastic Zarf with the most boring lesbian ever, Bianca Montgomery. Seriously, Bianca — stop crying so damn much. You’re almost as annoying as Jenny on “The L Word.” Almost.

So anyway, last July I went with my friend Irene to see Jeffrey Carlson in the starring role of Hamlet at the Shakespeare Theatre Company here in D.C. Turns out Mr. Carlson wasn’t acting on “AMC.” He IS Zarf. To get an idea of what that experience was like, watch the video below (courtesy “Best Week Ever”) and imagine Zarf dangling a skull off his palm and saying, “To be. Or not… tobe.” It was the best/most awesome “Hamlet” ever.

See what I mean? Brilliant. I don’t know which role Mr. Carlson has in “A&C,” and I don’t much care. It’s worth the ticket price, I promise you. Go.